Taking Your Power Back: Healing Anxious Attachment Without Losing Yourself
Each week in our Anxious Attachment Support Group, courageous individuals show up not only to learn—but to ask real, raw questions.
The kind of questions that don’t always get answered in therapy, TikToks, or well-meaning advice from friends.
Here are two anonymous questions from a recent session that echo through the hearts of many:
“If you’re taking a break from someone to heal your anxious attachment… is it possible to come back to the relationship with secure attachment? What do you need to watch out for?”
Yes, it’s possible—but only if you come back as someone who no longer needs the relationship to validate your worth.
Taking space is a powerful move. It breaks the cycle of compulsive re-attachment and gives you room to breathe, reflect, and realign.
But returning requires more than time—it requires transformation.
What to watch for before re-engaging:
Are you still hoping they’ll finally become who you wanted them to be?
Secure attachment doesn’t wait to be rescued. It reclaims its worth and walks back only when it’s safe and mutual.
Are you clear on your boundaries—and are you keeping them?
Loving someone doesn’t mean tolerating your own self-abandonment.
Are you choosing connection—or approval?
Coming back from power means you’re not needing them to prove anything. You’re already whole.
You can only re-enter securely if you’ve learned to no longer give your power away to keep the connection. If not, you’re just re-opening the loop that broke you.
“I was broken up with over a month ago. I’m working on myself, but I feel so lonely. Is that just my ego wanting someone to fulfill what I should be giving myself?”
This question came from someone deeply self-aware.
And maybe you’ve asked yourself the same thing.
First: You’re not weak for feeling lonely.
But when you feel that ache, it’s an invitation—not a problem to fix.
Yes, your ego might crave connection as a way to soothe pain or avoid stillness.
But deeper than that, there’s a part of you that misses yourself.
Instead of asking, “How do I stop feeling lonely?” try asking:
“What does this loneliness want me to know?”
“Where have I left myself behind in search of love?”
“What would it look like to choose me fully, today?”
Loneliness becomes a portal when you stop outsourcing your healing to someone else.
When you realize: I am the one I’ve been waiting for.
Standing in Your Secure Self
These powerful questions—asked anonymously in our support group—remind us that secure attachment isn’t something you wait for someone else to give you.
It’s something you build with yourself.
Secure doesn’t mean you don’t want connection.
It means you no longer betray yourself to keep it.
So whether you’re taking space, grieving a breakup, or sitting in the quiet ache of being single—know this:
You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
And when you stop chasing people to feel whole, and start standing in your power…
You stop being someone’s option, and start becoming your own answer.
If you’re ready to stop shrinking and start securing…
That’s what we do at BreakBox Coaching.
We break patterns—not hearts.
With Love and Power, Zac