Why Does My Life Feel So Hard? (The Truth No One Tells You About Your Purpose)
“You did not come for ease. You came to remember who you are by surrendering to the wild, unpredictable unfolding of life. Every challenge, every loss, every breakthrough was designed to shape you. Trust the earth’s relentless, loving hand as it sculpts you into the fullness of your being. Only by embracing what is can you rise into the purpose you were always meant to embody.”
If you’re reading this, it probably means life has already cracked you open.
I know that feeling.
I’ve walked through darkness so dense I thought I’d never find my way back. Loss, heartbreak, identity collapse, complete disorientation. I know what it’s like to scream into the void, “Why is this happening to me?”
Here’s what I’ve learned:
You didn’t come here for comfort. You came here to be shaped.
This is my truth, hard-won, and shared with you now.
“You did not come for ease. You came to remember who you are by surrendering to the unpredictable, trusting the earth’s shaping hand, and rising into your divine purpose.”
The Lie of Comfort
From the moment we’re born, we’re told comfort is the goal: get the job, get the house, find the partner, stabilize.
I chased all of it. Hard.
But comfort never gave me what I was looking for. It numbed me. It trapped me.
Real growth—the deep, soul-shifting, liberating kind—only started when I surrendered comfort in exchange for truth.
“True transformation begins where comfort ends.”
Surrendering to What Is
I fought life for years. I tried to control every detail: people, outcomes, even my own emotions.
All it did was create more suffering.
Surrender is not defeat. Surrender is the powerful choice to stop fighting reality.
To say:
“I trust the process, even when I don’t understand it.”
The day I surrendered was the day I was finally free.
The Earth Was Always the Teacher
Look at nature:
The river carves canyons because it surrenders to the landscape.
The oak tree stands tall because it bends in the storm.
The earth doesn’t resist its own evolution. Why should we?
The pain, the friction, the struggle—they don’t destroy us.
They sculpt us into who we were always meant to be.
I thought I was being punished.
Now I know I was being prepared.
Your Purpose Was Never Lost
The purpose of your life is not to become someone new.
It is to unbecome everything you are not:
The masks.
The people-pleasing.
The ego projections.
The survival patterns.
And to remember:
“I am still here. I am whole. I am enough.”
Your path is sacred, and it was never meant to be identical to anyone else’s.
The Role of Pain in Your Becoming
The most painful moments of my life became the doorways to my greatest becoming.
I used to pray for the pain to end.
Now I thank it for revealing the parts of me I was avoiding.
Grief, fear, rage, shame—these are not enemies.
They are invitations to wholeness.
“Pain is the alchemy that turns lead into gold.”
The goal was never to avoid pain.
It was to meet it fully and let it transform me.
You Are Not Alone
If you feel unseen, misunderstood, or exhausted by the journey—I have been there too.
You are not broken. You are becoming.
Even in isolation, you are surrounded by others walking the same unknown path.
Your arrival here is proof you are answering the call.
“You were made for this.”
What I Want You to Know
If I could speak directly to your soul right now, I would say:
You are not behind.
You are not too late.
You are not failing.
You are exactly where you are meant to be.
And most of all:
“There is NOTHING fucking wrong with you—you are not broken, not damaged, not too much or too little; you are exactly where you’re meant to be in this wild, messy, sacred process of becoming.”
A Few Things That Helped Me
These simple practices anchored me in the chaos. Maybe they will help you too:
Journaling: Let the unconscious speak. It knows. This is a practice called stream-of-consciousness. Write about all that will come out of you, it doesnt matter what it is. Don’t judge it, just write. Do NOT read it. Just write. After a week, go back and read what has come out onto the page. What are the threads? What is the gold that is coming from your sub-conscious that if you would have read it right away your ego would have judged it and you would have rejected the very truths you needed.
Breathe. Slow the fuck down. Get out of your spinning head and come back home to your body. Your nervous system is the guide—it knows what safety feels like, even when your mind is in chaos. Start simple: diaphragmatic breathing. In through your nose, slow and deep into your belly, out through your mouth. Again. And again. This is where you start. This is how you ground. This is how you reclaim yourself, one breath at a time.
Stop waiting for perfect. There’s no such fucking thing. Perfect is a myth that keeps you stuck. Start from exactly where you are, with whatever you’ve got. Be grateful for what you have and who you are, right here, right now. There are no mistakes. You are not behind. You are not late. You are standing exactly where you’re supposed to be in the unfolding of your becoming. Move.
Ask for help: Healing happens in relationship. You don’t have to do it alone. Setback and ask for a mentor, the right one will end up right in front of you. Don’t judge them, listen to them. “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear When the student is really ready the teacher will disappear.” Who or what is teaching you right now? Stop resisting it. Embrace it. Whether it’s a person, a situation, a heartbreak, or the earth itself—your teacher is already here. I’ve found my teachers and mentors over and over again… or should I say, they found me. They always showed up right on time, exactly when I was ready, and every single one of them came at a cost. Sometimes it was financial, sometimes it was emotional, sometimes it was my pride, but it always required me to pay something in order to grow. That’s the deal. The teacher appears, but you have to say yes to the lesson.
Remember: this too will pass. No matter how heavy it feels right now, no matter how stuck or hopeless you think you are—it will pass. Every season shifts. Nothing stays the same forever. The rhythm of the universe never lies: sunset, sunrise; tide in, tide out; death, rebirth. Over and over. That’s the way. Stop gripping so hard. Stop fighting it. Surrender. Let life move you, reshape you, carry you to whatever’s next. Trust the cycle.
My Final Truth
I would never choose the losses and pain I’ve endured.
But I also wouldn’t trade them.
They forged me.
They carved away what I was not.
They revealed my truth.
You and I—we were sent here to experience everything.
To meet life head-on.
To trust that even in the mess, even in the wreckage, something holy is happening.
You are becoming who you were always meant to be.
And no force on this earth can stop that unfolding.
You did not come for ease. You came to remember who you are by surrendering to the unpredictable, trusting the earth’s shaping hand, and rising into your divine purpose. - Zachary Pike Gandara
Your Next Step
If these words stirred something inside you, that’s not random.
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
You are ready.
You’ve already begun.
You’ve survived what you thought would break you.
You are not starting over—you are starting deeper.
So take a breath.
Place your hand on your heart.
And ask yourself:
“What is life asking of me next?”
The answer doesn’t have to be big.
It just has to be honest.
And when you’re ready, keep walking.
This journey was never meant to be walked alone.
I’ll be here, walking my path alongside you.
If you want to walk together click below to book your free call, let’s take the first step to the life you were sent here to live.